Tonight the concept of childhood came up in session and reviewing how we feel about our childhood. This just so happens to be one of my favorite topics to discuss so I'm surprised I haven't spent more time on it. When I was in college, my dad got me a book called, "Actually it is your parents fault". It was one of the most validating experiences I've ever had. This however does not completely encompass what I believe has a healthy perspective on childhood. I believe that the view of your childhood should be a multi-faceted glowing crystal that encompasses many different perspectives...
Acknowledging your parents faults.
This is the fun one. This is where you get to be vindictive and shred your parents parenting style and wrong-doings and get to feel all warm and fuzzy inside because you don't have to take any ownership over your own behaviors. Yes you are allowed to do it, but only for a minute. Yeah, you may have adopted some really crappy habits that you watched your parents do. You may have zero self-esteem because you were never validated for your accomplishments. You may have even experienced some trauma from your parents and yes you get to be angry about that. In my opinion however, not forever. It's not going to do you any good nor fix anything that happened.
Understand their perspective.
We grow up with this notion that our parents are perfect and they know exactly what they are doing. False. They don't. And neither do you. Because we're human. We are in this fantastic cycle of learning from the generation before us and attempting to do better the next time around but we are more than likely going to screw some things up again. NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY!! So give your parents a break. I'm not saying validate what they did but understand it. What was their parenting model? What were they taught? What was going on in their lives? Put yourself in their situation. Again. This does not validate but it helps us understand.
Find the Positives.
Granted part of my job is to find the positive in any situation but I can guarantee that you can find some positives from your childhood and your parents way of doing things. This will again not invalidate your experiences but rather shift your view on valuing your past rather than finding resentment. The energy that you will carry from this shift in perspective will hold enough value to want to do this with everything. Remember, your view of childhood is multi-faceted. I am not encouraging you to avoid or invalidate your experiences but allow them to co-exist with the positives as well.
Make your changes.
Now is the time where you have the opportunity to take everything that you have learned and shift your own behaviors and perspectives individually as well as parenting style if that applies. You get to acknowledge that you don't have a good self-esteem and begin rebuilding it for yourself. You get to acknowledge those bad habits and decide to do something else regardless of what was modeled for you. Your history does not define your future and taking ownership of that will be your life changing moment.
To put everything in context, this is an example of my own personal experience...
Dad, feel free to jump in if this is embarrassing but I think you'll appreciate my perspective. Growing up, my father was pretty demanding in terms of grades and accomplishments. From my experience I remember bringing home all A's and a B and hearing, "why isn't this one an A?" After conversations now, I understand that he was proud of my accomplishments and wanted me to continue pushing myself.
Step 1) - Acknowledge the faults
For a long time I held the perspective that he didn't think I was good enough and that I wasn't valued for my abilities. Did I enjoy this interactation? HELL NO! Did I feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Uh no! could have used a bit more positive reinforcement and praise.
Step 2) - Understand the perspective
I know that his father held the same standards and he was only continuing the cycle of behavior that was modeled for him. I know he was working a lot and was attempting to co-parent 4 children. (I have 2 kids...4 is a lot ...sheesh).
Step 3) - Find the positives
Sitting in that perspective will leave me with resentment and anger. But what came from all of this, is my ability to continually push myself to always try to be better. I feel as though I was successful academically due to him pushing me.
Step 4) - Making the changes
I found what works and I found what doesn't work. After evaluating my experience I want to praise my children for the positive while at the same time encouraging them and challenging them to keep trying to push themselves to be better.
Your childhood doesn't always have to be a closet full of skeletons. Sometimes it's worth unpacking and making peace with it ALL. The good, bad and the ugly.
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
"Teach that kid the word NO!"
My husband and I often discuss how we respond to our 2 girls, mainly the 2 1/2 year old being that the other one just wants something to chew on (10 months). Throughout this debate to make sure we are on the same page, I've had to evaluate why I choose to do things the way I do with my kids. I don't like to say "no" to my kids. "Gasp! you're kid is going to turn into a brat!" False. And I'll tell you why...
I understand that kids need to understand they will not get everything they want and nor should they. My daughter will often ask me to do something and it's either not appropriate weather, timing is off, age appropriate ability, whatever the reasoning is...it just ain't gon' fly. Kids, little kids at least, don't have the ability to see past the next 5 seconds unless prompted to bring them out of their fixation with the current situation. They need to have some sort of control or empowerment over the situation to know that they have some freedom or choice. Again, this may sound like I let myself get run by a 2.5 year old, sometimes true (we all need work, don't judge). For example... This is how a "no" response may be communicated...
"Daddy/Mommy, I want to use the knife to cut my apple."
"No, you will cut yourself. Only Daddy or Mommy is allowed to use this knife."
The situation has been explained to the child and this response may or may not cause a negative response. They now potentially understand the situation and reasoning behind the "no" but this may not always compute and diffuse the disappointment of feeling inadequate. This may sound dramatic but I believe it's these small instances that build fundamental bones of childrens' psyche.
Option 2
"Daddy/Mommy I want to use the knife to cut my apple."
"You may use this knife when you get big like Mommy/Daddy. For now, you can pick up the cut pieces of apple and put them in your bowl!"
According to my research (pushes glasses up on nose..aka...my experiences with my 2.5 year old) the difference in response are completely black and white. With the first situation, she may say, "ooooook" with slumped posture and disappointment in not being able to help. With the second scenario, she now feels empowered and independent in the ability to be a part of the process. I still didn't give in to something that was unsafe but in the process, she gets excited to be able to do SOMETHING. This can literally be the most ridiculous task in the entire world but if he/she is capable of it, they will own it like nobody's business. The beauty of this, is in following days/weeks, she then reiterates to me her excitement of being able to use a knife when she gets bigger rather than ruminating over the idea of shame of not being able to do something because she is small or being fearful of something because she doesn't have the coordination to protect herself.
In a sense, these are primary skills in developing the concept of reframing. Reframing is looking at a situation either in a positive or negative light. In adults, it's looking at the glass half full or looking at the glass half empty. Through this process, we can teach our children to find the positive in disappointing situations rather than fixate on the "can't's" or disappointments.
Yes, my child will hear the word "No" from many that come into her life without any other option but hopefully over the years, she will be able to develop the skill to find other positive venues on her own.
I understand that kids need to understand they will not get everything they want and nor should they. My daughter will often ask me to do something and it's either not appropriate weather, timing is off, age appropriate ability, whatever the reasoning is...it just ain't gon' fly. Kids, little kids at least, don't have the ability to see past the next 5 seconds unless prompted to bring them out of their fixation with the current situation. They need to have some sort of control or empowerment over the situation to know that they have some freedom or choice. Again, this may sound like I let myself get run by a 2.5 year old, sometimes true (we all need work, don't judge). For example... This is how a "no" response may be communicated...
"Daddy/Mommy, I want to use the knife to cut my apple."
"No, you will cut yourself. Only Daddy or Mommy is allowed to use this knife."
The situation has been explained to the child and this response may or may not cause a negative response. They now potentially understand the situation and reasoning behind the "no" but this may not always compute and diffuse the disappointment of feeling inadequate. This may sound dramatic but I believe it's these small instances that build fundamental bones of childrens' psyche.
Option 2
"Daddy/Mommy I want to use the knife to cut my apple."
"You may use this knife when you get big like Mommy/Daddy. For now, you can pick up the cut pieces of apple and put them in your bowl!"
According to my research (pushes glasses up on nose..aka...my experiences with my 2.5 year old) the difference in response are completely black and white. With the first situation, she may say, "ooooook" with slumped posture and disappointment in not being able to help. With the second scenario, she now feels empowered and independent in the ability to be a part of the process. I still didn't give in to something that was unsafe but in the process, she gets excited to be able to do SOMETHING. This can literally be the most ridiculous task in the entire world but if he/she is capable of it, they will own it like nobody's business. The beauty of this, is in following days/weeks, she then reiterates to me her excitement of being able to use a knife when she gets bigger rather than ruminating over the idea of shame of not being able to do something because she is small or being fearful of something because she doesn't have the coordination to protect herself.
In a sense, these are primary skills in developing the concept of reframing. Reframing is looking at a situation either in a positive or negative light. In adults, it's looking at the glass half full or looking at the glass half empty. Through this process, we can teach our children to find the positive in disappointing situations rather than fixate on the "can't's" or disappointments.
Yes, my child will hear the word "No" from many that come into her life without any other option but hopefully over the years, she will be able to develop the skill to find other positive venues on her own.
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
The Family Evolution
As many of my couples say to each other, "Why don't you just get it? Why do you make such a big deal out of nothing? How is this seriously an issue?" What I have found in my own marriage and throughout working with many couples is that the only way we can grow in a relationship, is accepting that whatever opinion or view someone has is not wrong or invalid, but 100% truth according to what they know. I already feel as though I'm not being clear. I will never understand my husband completely in terms of his moral background, comfortability, decision making, demeanor, parenting style...yada yada yada but what I can understand completely is that his opinion and understanding of the world is neither wrong nor invalid but may completely different from what I know. All that he can do as well is understand that my perspective is my truth as well.
So you may say, well then where do we go from here? We move towards attempting to understand and respecting their feelings based on trying to learn about where they are coming from. And no this cannot be one-sided. Both people need to work towards understanding each other's opinions. Now once you have figured out each other, guess what? You're not done.
You decide to take on raising a tiny bundle of joy that is now 1000% times more confusing because now you are both responsible for it, have the ideals of both extended families weighing in on how the child should be raised as well as you and your partner attempting to figure out how to do it together. Ohhhh $h*t. Don't back out yet, it's possible. Now that you've mastered attempting to understand your spouse, you can challenge your abilities to understand your in-laws. (Hi In-laws...yeah you're just waiting for me to talk smack huh?) Nope. Not gonna happen. My family and my in-laws are two very different groups of people and that is totally fine. And not even just fine....it's beautiful. My children now are going to have an immense spectrum of influence as to how to view the world and live in it. I'm guessing you may feel the same. And shoot, if not, then you may have an easier time than you think. I know that my in-laws do things that I have trouble understanding but that doesn't mean that they are wrong. Just as I hope that my husband sees that my family is only doing what they think is best as well.
Whatcha got? Oh you think your situation is different? Nope. I don't care if what they are doing is horrendous behavior. Is it appropriate? maybe not. Is it ethical? maybe not. Is it legal? MAYBE NOT! Is it excusable? Absolutely not. But can we attempt to learn about the motivation and seek to find understanding? YES. And this is how we don't lose our minds. I may be overly optimistic and maybe a bit of a hippie but I would like to think that people are inherently good and just got put in the wrong direction at some point in their life.
Talk it out, learn about people and you may actually find that you like more of your family and in-laws than you think.
....I'll be back again with more brain-bursting epiphanies. (sarcasm if you don't know me...this all may be bull$h*t)
Sunday, November 8, 2015
Those damn jeans...
Ideally, we like to think that as long as we are in this 1-2 pound range, then we are where we want to be. Or unfortunately, like I hear many and how I used to talk to myself, I just need to lose 10 more pounds, 20 more pounds, 50 more pounds! But guess what, no I'm not going to say, forget your goals, stay exactly as you are. Health is fabulous. Work hard to feel good, stay active and eat healthy but we have to stop punishing ourselves in the process. Do you have any idea how grand it feels to pull on a pair of jeans, button them comfortably, and have them hug the curves of your body perfectly? No? Then you are punishing yourself. Do you have any idea how empowering it is to wear clothing that does not distract you from enjoying your life, focusing on what's in front of you? No? Then you are punishing yourself. If you have clothing in your closet that is hurtful to wear, a struggle to button, then yes, maybe at one point you were able to wear it but just because something in your life has happened that has changed your physique, you do not need to force yourself to wear them now. IT IS OK TO WEAR CLOTHING THAT FITS YOUR BODY REGARDLESS OF THE NUMBER!
This is more for my ladies out there, but this evening I'm watching Eat, Pray, Love with a hearty glass of wine. (tipsy blogging-yes). There's a line where Julia Roberts is asking her friend if at any moment after she undresses in front of a man, does he excuse her from the room. No, because he's one lucky bastard to have a naked lady standing in front of him.
We have to stop worrying about what we look like and start realizing what we have to experience.
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Balance
I never in a million years would have thought I would want to be a stay at home mom. This week I returned to work after a 7 week maternity leave following the birth of my second child. I now have a 23 month old girl and 7 week old girl. Tell those stats to my 23 year old self and I would say there's no way in hell I'd be able to stay home all day with THAT! As I began to make my comments here and there about not wanting to return to work, my husband absolutely LOVED to remind me of that 23 year old self. "Oh how the tables have turned!" With all of the adjustment physically, emotionally, logistically and not to mention hormonally I wasn't about to make a drastic decision to end my career in one fall swoop. Alas, I begrudgingly had to get ready for work. After I fed my youngest and got her snug in her crib for a nap, I sat in a rocking chair with my 23 month old for a few games of peek a boo and singing songs in funny voices. My husband luckily was going to be watching the girls for my first day back since our sitter was out of town. Normally I would have to seek him out to take watch but this time he had to remind me it was time to go to work.. He picked up my toddler and like a scorned child I made my way up the stairs to shower.
Before you get too depressed, this story does have a happy ending.
As I'm driving into work I started to rack my brain thinking, "What the hell happened to me!?" And then I realized that I had just found another part of myself. Apparently it just took me about 2 years to really get here.
I got to work, got a beautiful welcome from colleagues along with text messages and calls from family and friends checking in to see how my first day back was going. It was odd is the only way I can describe...somehow living a former life that seemed like ages ago after sleepless nights and diaper changing 24/7 just after 7 weeks.
As I laid back down in bed at 4:30am after a feeding for my tiniest angel, I began to recount the mental activity of the day and realized the excitement I was experiencing from triggering a different part of my brain. I actually did enjoy going back to work!
...THANK GOD because that would have been rough!
My point in all of this is to remember that we are not one dimensional. It is ok be the yin AND the yang. We can hold many parts within ourselves. The important and crucial part (for me in particular) is not to lose those parts as we experience new. So for my working moms, remember that it's ok to have that desire to tap into that side of your brain while still wanting to wipe away tears after a bad dream. And for my stay at home moms, remember that you are multi dimensional and deserve to tap into other parts of your brain.
We all have a right to balance. Don't be afraid to experience your "other selves". It may be terrifying to branch out from what is familiar but it is so worth it.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Creative Parenting
For some reason, as I was driving home from work last night I had a vivid memory of my childhood. One thing that my parents were very good about was having us all sit down together for dinner. Sometimes this turned into great conversation later in life but early on was pretty much a $h*t show. I was probably in the 2nd or 3rd grade and between 2 out of the 4 of us children, someone started name calling. This could be a fabricated image but I can see both of my parents tiredly spooning dinner and staring blankly out the window. After a few rounds of irritable behavior between my siblings and I, one of my parents, said, "If you're going to insult each other, at least be creative about it." Again, could be a complete fabrication, but I feel as though my brothers and sisters looked at each other confused thinking..."Is this a trick?"
Soon enough, after a few rounds of ridiculous "donkey food" "pig droppings" & "booger face" we were all laughing in hysterics. What could have turned into a screaming match, followed by upset children not eating their dinner, turned into joy and togetherness. I don't remember what was for dinner that night but I can bet that we happily ate our food for the remainder of dinner.
For all of my puzzled siblings, I don't discount that tired screaming matches happened on other night, my parents were human just like everyone else. But for a brief moment, let's give them some credit.
This whole memory got me thinking about a concept I learned in my first job at Directions for Youth and Families working with families in a social work style environment.
Misbehavior = Needs not being met
The memory I described earlier could have been a fluke but I'd like to think there was something behind it. Could it have been that whichever one of my siblings was angry that night (could have been me) forgot how to laugh with my brothers and sister and forgot that these people are my best friends. That need of inclusion may have not been met. Through this creative parenting, the needs of my siblings and I were met by feeling inclusion with each other.
It's easier to recognize this concept in infancy. The babies crying = might be hungry, might be tired, might need attention, something might hurt. Granted, I know there are outliers of cranky babies but you get my point. We tend to forget this later in life. When the 4 year old is hitting, he might be missing his need of learning how to communicate or the need of feeling special. When the 10 year old didn't do her homework, maybe she's missing the need of understanding the information or feeling empowered or confident to complete the homework assignment. Discipline means to teach rather than punish. Challenge yourself to find the missing need and meet that need rather than punish the symptom or the misbehavior.
Soon enough, after a few rounds of ridiculous "donkey food" "pig droppings" & "booger face" we were all laughing in hysterics. What could have turned into a screaming match, followed by upset children not eating their dinner, turned into joy and togetherness. I don't remember what was for dinner that night but I can bet that we happily ate our food for the remainder of dinner.
For all of my puzzled siblings, I don't discount that tired screaming matches happened on other night, my parents were human just like everyone else. But for a brief moment, let's give them some credit.
This whole memory got me thinking about a concept I learned in my first job at Directions for Youth and Families working with families in a social work style environment.
Misbehavior = Needs not being met
The memory I described earlier could have been a fluke but I'd like to think there was something behind it. Could it have been that whichever one of my siblings was angry that night (could have been me) forgot how to laugh with my brothers and sister and forgot that these people are my best friends. That need of inclusion may have not been met. Through this creative parenting, the needs of my siblings and I were met by feeling inclusion with each other.
It's easier to recognize this concept in infancy. The babies crying = might be hungry, might be tired, might need attention, something might hurt. Granted, I know there are outliers of cranky babies but you get my point. We tend to forget this later in life. When the 4 year old is hitting, he might be missing his need of learning how to communicate or the need of feeling special. When the 10 year old didn't do her homework, maybe she's missing the need of understanding the information or feeling empowered or confident to complete the homework assignment. Discipline means to teach rather than punish. Challenge yourself to find the missing need and meet that need rather than punish the symptom or the misbehavior.
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Guest Post: The Vacation Ramblings of a High Class Bum.
Hi. I am Tom, Kate's Dad and partly responsible for the way Kate has turned out. The vacations we took to Florida around Christmas time were part of that partliness. I have just returned from another successful trip to the Keys with Gretchen (2nd wife) Nick and Emily (step-kids). It was successful on several levels.
First of all, prior to going down, I had read a book called "Essentialism" by GregMcKeowm. Now the motorhome has seen better days and gas prices (except for the recent dip) has made it rather uneconomecal to drive, so I proposed sleeping in a tent. There was a wee bit of resistance to overcome but I am happy to report that it was an overall successfull outcome. We need to take two twin size air mattresses next time instead of one queen and cover them with the mattress topper to eliminate the argument about the firmness of the mattress (my back likes it softer) and in a perfect world I need to engineer a ceiling fan for the tent. But overall, we stayed dry during the one drenching all night rain and the breeze was lovely. We could do NOTHING about the New Years partiers at 330am.
One of the places Gretchen, Nick and Emily visited this year was the Turtle Hospital. It is located in Marathon Key and cares for Green and Loggerhead turtles that are injured by boat propellers or by eating plastic. Gretchen said the stories of the turtles make you never want to buy things in plastic again. They were very interested and sent pics to Anda (Kate's Sister) who was a "Turtle Tech" on Cumberland Island and who once saved Grechen and I from tenting there a second sweltering Georgia July night-part of that resistance mentioned above.
Key West and the street performers were seen by Nick and Emily for their first time. One of the performers has been there for at least 10 years doing the same show. He said "If it still works, why change it?" The show lasts for about 10-15 minutes, he passes the hat and he goes home. He says that he pays 600/mo to the city of Key West in fees (20 bucks a night) I don't know if he has a day job too. He is entertaining. Another show featured a man with a trained pot bellied pig which was ummmm...a bit less thrilling. If I had a sidewalk "talent", I could easily see myself become a high class bum. (I would have a pension)
Gretchen and I did fight on this trip. The book "Unbroken" about Louie Zamparini, a WWII POW, was on the Kindle and the book "Boundaries" was in paperback. I was hogging the Kindle. If you read about Louie and the things he endured you will really have a hard time convincing yourself how anything you are facing is a problem. You will also have a hard time understanding how inhuman we can be to each other.
I find that the more frazzled I become before vacation, the more I want to withdraw on vacation.......from the world. Returning home, we were getting breakfast in the microtel lobby and CNN news was on the TV. Some story about a missing airline and wreckage was playing. It made absolutely no difference in my life other than disturbing my recently reaquired Keys calm. Garbage in, garbage out. We finished eating and headed backed to the car. On long road trips an old duker like me is easily impressed with technology like Pandora, smart phones and automobiles that allow you to play them through your car speakers. So after listening to show tunes, 70's rock and classical music, we put in some Zig Ziglar. There was one road trip when Kate got to listen to Tony Robbins all night. I don't remember anything in particular that Tony said, but Zig said a few things worth repeating. Probably a few things I was guilty of NOT doing enough. He spoke of having to
hoe several rows of beans (8 miles long :) ) as an 8 yr old. He rushed through it and had to have his mother inspect it. She said he had done a good enough job for most kids, but not for her son. He was better than that. He could do a better job. Zig said that she had critisized the performance but praised the performer. He was glad to have learned the difference at a very young age. I am an old duker, but better late than never. That sort of goes along with the other thing he said about anything worth doing is worth doing poorly..........and by that he meant that no one is expert at anything they try doing for the first time.
Zig also likes to talk about prosperity, but I've decided that without understanding, prosperity is over-rated. I have this poster titled What is Life? with 75 or so quotations on it about life and one is from Soren Kierkegaard. Can't say I ever heard of him before but he said "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards". Now I did get an "A" in Logic in college and I think if true, that quotation means that we are pretty much going to be confused our whole lives.
I think the trick is not to worry about it too much.....and if you do worry too much....go to the Keys for a little while.
First of all, prior to going down, I had read a book called "Essentialism" by GregMcKeowm. Now the motorhome has seen better days and gas prices (except for the recent dip) has made it rather uneconomecal to drive, so I proposed sleeping in a tent. There was a wee bit of resistance to overcome but I am happy to report that it was an overall successfull outcome. We need to take two twin size air mattresses next time instead of one queen and cover them with the mattress topper to eliminate the argument about the firmness of the mattress (my back likes it softer) and in a perfect world I need to engineer a ceiling fan for the tent. But overall, we stayed dry during the one drenching all night rain and the breeze was lovely. We could do NOTHING about the New Years partiers at 330am.
One of the places Gretchen, Nick and Emily visited this year was the Turtle Hospital. It is located in Marathon Key and cares for Green and Loggerhead turtles that are injured by boat propellers or by eating plastic. Gretchen said the stories of the turtles make you never want to buy things in plastic again. They were very interested and sent pics to Anda (Kate's Sister) who was a "Turtle Tech" on Cumberland Island and who once saved Grechen and I from tenting there a second sweltering Georgia July night-part of that resistance mentioned above.
Key West and the street performers were seen by Nick and Emily for their first time. One of the performers has been there for at least 10 years doing the same show. He said "If it still works, why change it?" The show lasts for about 10-15 minutes, he passes the hat and he goes home. He says that he pays 600/mo to the city of Key West in fees (20 bucks a night) I don't know if he has a day job too. He is entertaining. Another show featured a man with a trained pot bellied pig which was ummmm...a bit less thrilling. If I had a sidewalk "talent", I could easily see myself become a high class bum. (I would have a pension)
Gretchen and I did fight on this trip. The book "Unbroken" about Louie Zamparini, a WWII POW, was on the Kindle and the book "Boundaries" was in paperback. I was hogging the Kindle. If you read about Louie and the things he endured you will really have a hard time convincing yourself how anything you are facing is a problem. You will also have a hard time understanding how inhuman we can be to each other.
I find that the more frazzled I become before vacation, the more I want to withdraw on vacation.......from the world. Returning home, we were getting breakfast in the microtel lobby and CNN news was on the TV. Some story about a missing airline and wreckage was playing. It made absolutely no difference in my life other than disturbing my recently reaquired Keys calm. Garbage in, garbage out. We finished eating and headed backed to the car. On long road trips an old duker like me is easily impressed with technology like Pandora, smart phones and automobiles that allow you to play them through your car speakers. So after listening to show tunes, 70's rock and classical music, we put in some Zig Ziglar. There was one road trip when Kate got to listen to Tony Robbins all night. I don't remember anything in particular that Tony said, but Zig said a few things worth repeating. Probably a few things I was guilty of NOT doing enough. He spoke of having to
hoe several rows of beans (8 miles long :) ) as an 8 yr old. He rushed through it and had to have his mother inspect it. She said he had done a good enough job for most kids, but not for her son. He was better than that. He could do a better job. Zig said that she had critisized the performance but praised the performer. He was glad to have learned the difference at a very young age. I am an old duker, but better late than never. That sort of goes along with the other thing he said about anything worth doing is worth doing poorly..........and by that he meant that no one is expert at anything they try doing for the first time.
Zig also likes to talk about prosperity, but I've decided that without understanding, prosperity is over-rated. I have this poster titled What is Life? with 75 or so quotations on it about life and one is from Soren Kierkegaard. Can't say I ever heard of him before but he said "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards". Now I did get an "A" in Logic in college and I think if true, that quotation means that we are pretty much going to be confused our whole lives.
I think the trick is not to worry about it too much.....and if you do worry too much....go to the Keys for a little while.
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