This term was coined by one of my teen clients years ago and it made me chuckle a bit. I never viewed therapy as a program or something to "graduate" from but of course in our capitalist world of competition and achievement, it only makes sense.
Ironically, I don't agree with it. Yes, you can get to a point of feeling good and not feeling to need to process whatever is going on in your world but I don't feel that we ever "graduate" from our life problems. It is one of my favorite moments in the therapy process when a client comes in after 3 or 4 weeks and says, "well, I was sad for a day like 2 weeks ago, and then last week I got a little irritated at a co-worker so I guess I still have some work to do."
Que me, "So, you're telling me that in a 4 week span, you got "sad" for 1 day and then got "a little irritated" 2 weeks later?"
Client looking at me quizzically.
Me: "Sooooo, YOU'RE HUMAN!"
It's so interesting to me to see the night and day transformation from the beginning of therapy towards the end. All of a sudden the standards that are established are perfection. It is so important to keep balance in life. Yes, we need to be aware of what we can improve on and be aware of how we are functioning day to day but we also need to remember that if we aren't perfect in our emotional regulation everyday then we are not failures. WE ARE HUMAN. I emphasize WE because even though I preach, doesn't mean I'm perfect at it either, just ask my mother or my father or my siblings...or my friends...or my husband...oh boy the list keeps going. WAIT! I'm human! As long as we are monitoring how to resolve those moments of emotional dysfunction then we need to forgive ourselves. I'm not saying to cuss somebody out and then say, "my therapist says I'm not perfect and I need to forgive myself so whatever." No, recognize it and resolve it. But don't beat yourself up in the meantime.
We will be forever working on ourselves and that's just as healthy as any "graduation".
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Monday, October 6, 2014
The Road to Self Actualization
I was inspired this evening by one of my client's which funny enough she stated, "This can be your next blog!". Congratulations! you've been my inspiration :D
I'm not sure if you know this about me, but one of the largest influences of my life and probably a majority of the reason I became a therapist is because I had an amazing therapeutic experience myself, sitting on the couch rather than across from it.
I remember walking down 17th Ave. on Ohio State's Campus heading to my next class just smiling. I couldn't contain my joy and wanted to call someone. I remember going through my phone trying to get someone to answer. Finally someone answered, my dad, and I said, "Hi!" ...he said "hello"....pause pause...waiting for the purpose of my call. I followed it up by, "How are you?" ...followed by ..."good"...pause pause...waiting for the purpose of my call. And then it dawned on me, that I had finally gotten to a point in my life that I was content enough to get out of my own head and see how someone else was doing. Obviously this was not a typical action on my part considering the confusion of the simple question "how are you?" and there being no other purpose to the call. I don't even know if he remembers this call but it was a very impacting moment for me.
This post may not seem to have much content but it's actually very important. We are covered in layers upon layers of "things" and "plans" and general dysfunction that we can't even see the things that are around us.
I know that every single time I left therapy, I felt a weight lifted and saw things a bit clearer. Seriously, just like the Claritin commercial. Tonight my client had one of those moments and it was beautiful. She was able to see something or be aware of something that she didn't even think was important in the beginning. Just like when you watch a movie or read a book for the 2nd or 3rd time, you notice something different, there are so many things going on in your life that you may not see right now but they're still there.
Do yourself a favor, attempt to clear whatever dysfunction or clouding layers that you may have in your life so that you can see what's around you and maybe even see if somebody else needs some help.
:)
I'm not sure if you know this about me, but one of the largest influences of my life and probably a majority of the reason I became a therapist is because I had an amazing therapeutic experience myself, sitting on the couch rather than across from it.
I remember walking down 17th Ave. on Ohio State's Campus heading to my next class just smiling. I couldn't contain my joy and wanted to call someone. I remember going through my phone trying to get someone to answer. Finally someone answered, my dad, and I said, "Hi!" ...he said "hello"....pause pause...waiting for the purpose of my call. I followed it up by, "How are you?" ...followed by ..."good"...pause pause...waiting for the purpose of my call. And then it dawned on me, that I had finally gotten to a point in my life that I was content enough to get out of my own head and see how someone else was doing. Obviously this was not a typical action on my part considering the confusion of the simple question "how are you?" and there being no other purpose to the call. I don't even know if he remembers this call but it was a very impacting moment for me.
This post may not seem to have much content but it's actually very important. We are covered in layers upon layers of "things" and "plans" and general dysfunction that we can't even see the things that are around us.
I know that every single time I left therapy, I felt a weight lifted and saw things a bit clearer. Seriously, just like the Claritin commercial. Tonight my client had one of those moments and it was beautiful. She was able to see something or be aware of something that she didn't even think was important in the beginning. Just like when you watch a movie or read a book for the 2nd or 3rd time, you notice something different, there are so many things going on in your life that you may not see right now but they're still there.
Do yourself a favor, attempt to clear whatever dysfunction or clouding layers that you may have in your life so that you can see what's around you and maybe even see if somebody else needs some help.
:)
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