Positive Self-Talk

So my last post was about creating the inner voice of your children by changing the way you speak to them. This post is about correcting that inner voice if you were never given the luxury of having a positive voice in the first place. As usual, inspired by this video...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRlpIkH3b5I&feature=youtu.be

A typical running theme throughout many of my sessions tends to be self-esteem and difficulty due to having a negative self-concept. Once this has been established as goal, I usually ask what the inner voice says on a day to day basis. I ask, "What do you say to yourself when you look in the mirror?" This is usually followed by, "ugh, I'm so fat. My nose is huge. I have a bulging stomach...yada yada yada."

Can you imagine if people that you saw on a daily basis, said these words to you?! You would be devastated. And yet, when we allow negative self-talk to happen, we are allowing the words to still enter our brain. Usually the next step is to give the assignment to become aware of what type of self-talk each of my clients uses on a daily basis and recognizing how frequently they are putting themselves down. It's ASTONISHING how nasty we can be to ourselves when we start paying attention. This doesn't even have to end with physical characteristics. This can be applied to any ability. The possibilities are endless to make yourself feel horrible! Fantastic right? No. Horrifying. But the good news is, that since we have all of these opportunities to demolish our self-esteem, that means we have an equal opportunity to boost our self-esteem and create an incredible level of confidence.

Next step is usually followed by my saying, "Do you have any idea how often I build myself up throughout the day?" Because it's quite ridiculous. Every time I walk by a mirror I say, "Damn you look good. You just had a baby! I am ridiculously good looking. I can't even help how good looking I am." This sounds so ridiculous right? And how conceded can I possibly be? This is a pep talk. I have realistic views of myself and know that I am not a super model (nor do I want to be) but why shouldn't I be able to say these things to myself! I deserve to hear them and who knows what the day will bring. If someone decides to give me a compliment that day, super; I get a double dose. If someone decides to ATTEMPT to make me feel bad about myself, I've already counter - balanced it with my positive self-talk! Mind you, I said ATTEMPT, because no one has the ability to make me feel bad about myself unless I allow them.

Think I'm insane? Try forcing yourself to say something positive about yourself every time you look in a mirror. Or tell yourself that you are doing an amazing job at work, or being a fantastic parent, or working as hard as you can. It may seem awkward at first but I PROMISE you it will pay off.

Until next time, I'm going to go stare at my beautiful self in the mirror.